Sadly he died a few years ago. He didn't die of anything specific, though he was over 90 when he died.
Unfortunately, I had a dilemma in the days leading to his death - either stay in Japan, or try to get a flight back home for an exorbitant amount of yen, do 2 weeks of hotel quarantine out of my pocket for a chance (but not a guarantee) to see my dad one last time. Even basic calculations at the time meant that trying to get back to Australia would have cost me not only job in Japan, but it would have financially ruined me that would have taken me a long time to recover from.
The best I was able to do was call home every day, which I had been doing for the last two years.
In the last 12 months before his passing, he was in and out of hospital 7 times. Fortunately, each time, he was able to bounce back and made a full recovery, especially thanks to Mum with her years of experience as a nurse, looking after Dad around the clock and keeping an eye on even the slightest change in his condition like a hawk. The last time he needed to go into hospital, it started off with Dad having low blood pressure. We did not think there was anything out of the ordinary, and assumed that like the other times before, he'd bounce back and be out of the hospital after a few days. Unfortunately, this was not the case, and Dad's conditioned just worsened as the days went on. It reached the point that the doctor told mum that the best that could be done for him was to make his last days comfortable and take him home.
Though I was calling mum and dad every day, there was nothing I could do from Japan. I did get in contact with a few of my friends who have known dad for as long as they have known me, and they were kind enough to pay him a visit, especially one friend who hasn't seen my dad in years. I was able to join in via video chat for this one, as it had been a while since I had spoken to this particular friend. Clearly, though his physical condition wasn't the best, he was mentally active and was very happy to see my friend. It was a case that the mind and spirit were willing, but the body was weak.
The day before he passed away, I called twice - once in the morning, and once again in the afternoon. When I talked to dad that morning, he was getting weaker, and his last words to me made it clear that this was going to be it:
"I'm tired."
From the stories that dad told me of my grandma and her last days before she passed away, I immediately thought of that story when dad said those words to me. When I called again in the afternoon, his condition then confirmed it. He had no strength left, not even to talk. At my Mum's suggestion, I did give dad my final words and goodbyes, and apologizing that I could not be there with him, though I wasn't sure if he heard me. However, mum told me after that when she asked dad if he heard me, he was able to weakly nod in acknowledgement.
Then early in the morning on April 4th, I got the message from mum that dad had passed away in hospital overnight. She had stayed with dad at the hospital overnight, and I'll forever be grateful for mum to ensure that when dad died, there would be someone from the family there to see him off. Immediately I called mum when I got the message, and she was still at the hospital. She showed me dad, who simply looked like he was sleeping as if nothing was amiss.
The funeral was a week later. While I could not make it to the funeral due to the CCP virus, and quarantine restrictions, the funeral service was able to set up a live stream so that those who could not attend in person could watch. I told my close friends of dad's passing and those who were able to make it were kind enough to attend. I prepared a pre-recorded tribute to dad, while my mother prepared the eulogy.
The following months after his death, I stopped going to the gym. The few times I tried going to the gym, I would get as far as the carpark, all prepared and ready to go, and I would just turn around and go home. I would eventually pick it up going to the gym before I ended up busting my back shortly after. Fortunately, my girlfriend living with me at that time did help quite a bit, though there were times when very minor things would just cause me to break down. I was able to get through that in time, but my father's passing right before the school year started, and just struggling to pretend that nothing was amiss and having to put on a happy face all the time at school, along with my 6th graders just being an overall pain in the butt led me to find a new job.
It has been two years since dad passed, and even now, it still hurts like hell. For a long time though, I was filled with guilt over not being there, and even with the logic and reasoning of my choices, I was still asking myself if I made the right choice. The original plan that mum and I discussed years ago was that if something happened to Dad, I would immediately head home to see him, but thanks to some idiot country spreading a global pandemic, this was not possible. Also, while selfish, I was hoping for dad's final words to be something more, perhaps even something simple like "I forgive you for not being here." However, when mum came to visit me last month, she offered a different take on dad's final words, where she pointed out that if Dad said he forgave me, it would be acknowledging that I did something wrong, and I did nothing wrong, given the circumstances. And honestly, that insight from mum made me feel a little better about it, and I feel a bit more comfortable talking about dad's death.
As I said, it still hurts, but I'm no longer beating myself up for not being there in his last days. There are still days that I really miss dad, and I really wanted Dad to come visit Japan at least once - even if it was the more rural parts of Japan, as I know that the hustle and bustle of cities like Tokyo would have been too much for him. Even though he is no longer here, I still think about him regularly, and fortunately these days, I can do that without breaking down.
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